Pranks to play on telemarketers, Part 2

Pranks to play on telemarketers: Page 1, Page 2, Page 3.

After they have given their entire sales pitch, say you are interested but first you need the telemarketer's personal home phone number. When they ask why tell them that they have your personal home number so before you complete the deal, you want to be on even ground with them and you need their number. If they don't give it to you, yup, you guessed it, hangup in righteous indignation. If they do, say you will call back to order/contribute. Then do so at some reasonable hour, in case they have given you a phony number. But if it is a correct number, post it on the net. Not so anyone would harrass this person, ;) but so all of us would have the opportunity to contact this person about whatever it is that is being telemarketed. And since so many of us are night owls, we will be calling at a time convenient to us, like 4 am. ;)

Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "Oh my God!" and then hang up.

Asking Telemarketers Questions: I seem to be plagued by telemarketers claiming to be collecting for police charities; sometimes these "police" organizations (*even* if they offer you a "sticker" for your car) give very little of the money they collect to the police, and in some cases even use your money to support legislation you may disagree with. Ask (1) if they are *really* the police, or whoever they claim to be, (2) how much money goes to the police, or whoever, and (3) what happens to the other money. A lot of telemarketers are not prepared to deal with an "active" person on the telephone, and won't know the answers to these questions. If they can't answer these questions to your satisfaction, you don't have to feel guilty about not donating to their "charity".

BAD CONNECTIONS - This is the best excuse of all. As telemarketer starts to identify themself, once again say "hello?" Continue asking if anyone is there and eventually hang up. You can even play games with them where you ask them to yell.

Disagree strongly with anything they say.

Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . . louder . . .

Call them "Champ" or "Tiger.". Refer to yourself as "Coach."

Constantly accuse them of being a communist.

Begin all your sentences with "Ohh la la!"

Decline Politely. Let the telemarketer or Policeman's Ball representative say whatever he is going to say. Then, when the first pause arrives, you say, "Sorry, not interested." Any civil and decent telemarketer will interpret that statement as an exit cue, obliging him to now say something like, "Good enough, sir. Thank you for your time. Have a nice day," or words to that effect, and get off the phone.

Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.

If you have an answering machine, turn it on so they can here you are recording the call. Make sure you get the person's name, and the company's name and address. Then inform them something like this. ``Under state law I am hereby notifying you that you (you as an individual and the company) are prohibited from calling this number (xxx-xxxx) to solicit ever again. If you or the company calls again, you personally and the company will be liable for penalties up to $10,000. Is this clear?'' Just something to hopefully make them nervous. (Actually Virginia came pretty close to passing a law like this. Unfortunately, the telemarketing lobby bribed our legislature into killing the bill. Maybe next year...)

If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.


A prank someone actually tried

Hmm, maybe then it's just me who gets heaps of calls from telemarketers, I used to get them at least 3 times a week.

I got sick of it so I tried heaps of things. I played them some tunes on my guitar, then I asked them what they thought of it and how I could improve.

I played the song 'Dominated Love Slave' off the computer to them and I told them that I dedicated this song to them.

I asked one to marry me, he said yes. (but you never know, these people may only want to marry you just to go to your country and gain citizenship)

I talked to one of them for 35 minutes about their job because I wanted to know more information about how many products they sell in a day and how many people they call in a day all together. I asked htem how many people reject their calls and how many people rudely knock them off.

I three-way called one of my friends while talking to a telemarketer. We ended up all talking together, it was funny lol.


Another prank someone actually tried

I tried to keep them on the phone for as long as I could in order to waste their time and let them waste more money. I did this by looking through my room and talking about things like music, cd's, bands. I talked about all the music that I liked, and I talked about how I liked punk music. I then asked him a bunch of questions about his music preference and if he played any instruments.

I told him that I was part of a cult, a cult that branched off Satanism, and that we made monthly sacrifices, I also reassured him that it wasn't a bad thing, and that next week I would be giving half of my soul to the priest and that I was really excited because it has been something that I had been working towards for a long time and that I will finally be fully apart of the community.

Then the telemarketer kinda just nodded off, then he asked me if I had any boyfriends, I told him no, I don't, then he asked me if I was lying, and I wasn't, but then I decided to tell him that I was a lesbian and that I had a girlfriend, and that I really liked her. He wasnt expecting that!

Then he asked me if I had any friends that he could get the numbers down to call them. That was kinda creepy, so this is what I did.

Ok, so I doubt anyone of you would know anything about The Chasers War on Everything. I won't explain, but they found out our old Prime Ministers phone number and posted it in one of their magazines right at the front of it for everyone. So once the telemarketer if I had any numbers, I just gave them that number! I told the telemarketer that his name was John, but I wasn't too sure if that was his number anymore. The telemarketer also asked if he was over he age of 18, I said that I was pretty damn sure that he was.

Then he said that he had to go, and he asked me if he could call me back in a few days, I told him no, I said that I didn't want to be talking to him.

Pranks to play on telemarketers: Page 1, Page 2, Page 3.

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